Is it Necessary to Keep the Eye on and Supervise the Achievements Your Child Constantly?


All children are unique, their individual qualities are revealed from the very first days of life. Outside setting, the atmosphere of love and care dictate the peculiarities of formation of his future character, and each parent, of course, would like to see his child grow healthy, smart and happy. But, following the classic patterns of upbringing and evolving of the child, based on the recommendations and experience of past generations, we sometimes forget that the kid owes nothing to anybody.

So should we constantly keep the eye on and control the achievements of the child?


Every child is special

My story is not unique, there are moms like me – thousands or even millions. And we all have one thing in common – how soon and what kind of achievements we expect from our children.

My kids a big age difference – 14 years. And all the time for some reason I compare how grew up my older daughter Ashley and how grows up Ryan…

With Ashley everything was in a classic way, despite the fact that I was an inexperienced mummy – she ate at hours herself, slept all night long with only one break for a meal. When she woke up, she played quietly with her hands, waited for somebody to come around her, did not cry. She fell asleep from the birth exceptionally herself – I nursed her, put her in the crib and left.

And that’s all! Only when she was about two years old, she found out that she could solicit to scratch her back or hold her hand before bedtime. Complementary feeding was injected classically too, everything by the book.

But with Ryan everything is completely different. They say, it is more difficult with the boys in general… He eats in a different times, today he sleeps, but tomorrow he doesn’t, and the complementary feeding – sometimes we’re being cautious, occasionally give him mashed potatoes from our table, it can be at the same time, or at completely different. So, we never get bored…

To wait or not to wait for the achievements from children

But here is the most important difference – we expect from Ryan no achievements! And there is no need to control the achievements of your child!

When Ashley was growing up, I even wrote it all down – oh! She turned over at that time, she sat down at such age – how nice of her! I was so glad that that she grew quickly, wanted everything to be faster, earlier. At two years she knew the letters, at two and a half she read. Nobody believed, until could see it!

She went to school at six, because we didn’t longer know what to offer her, she was eager to learn. We read with her, counted , drew… With four years she went to a music school. Now she is the winner and holder of the Grand Prix of different international competitions for young pianists … And so on and so forth.

And with Ryan, on the contrary, I want to stop the time! Here he is so funny lying on his belly and does not want to turn over on his back at all… And he shouldn’t to! We love him anyway! He is almost six month but sits only with the support, doesn’t sit by himself. We sit him on and he just smiles and falls on his side. And there is no need! He is the best in any case.

No, we certainly do a lot of things with him under the full program as well as with the daughter in due time. Massages, gymnastics, on the ball, and we swim and read books, and train, and all like that. But we do not expect from ANY ACHIEVEMENTS!!! And we won’t send him to school at 6 years at any price!

The biggest achievement of the child – it’s his birth

And we do not wait for gratitude! But from Ashley we did. One day, when she came from school and smelled of cigarettes, we were so disappointed just because we had been waiting for thankfulness for all our labors that we contributed to her, for both of us gave up smoking for the sake of her, for her to see and appreciate it.

With Ryan we realized that it’s not them who ought to be grateful to us, but we are to them for having such happiness  – our children! The greatest achievement of the child – it’s his drawing the first breath!

Grateful for that we can now kiss their soft ears, laugh with them, cuddle tightly and see ourselves in them. What would we do without them? Have a deadly yearning! So we thank them! For the fact we have them in our lives. For they bring up kindness and humanity in us, but not us in them.


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